


*Insert Generic Song Lyrics Here*

by smashingpunks



Category: Bandom
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:19:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4047655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smashingpunks/pseuds/smashingpunks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have made this story my absolute goal to try and include as many cliche fanfiction themes as I possibly can. Get ready because this story will change your life. </p>
<p>Kellic Quentes has moved from Michigan to California (Oh wow wat a shocker) and is da new kid in school. He quickelyly becomes the target for teh school bully, Jalex (Never seen that before) when they get partnered up for a skool project, they are forced to cooaperate. Maybe  even become friends. Or maybe somethig more. Will Kellic and Jalex fall for eachother? Will they get past their differences? How will the school react? Why is there so many questions? Why is Y only sometimes a vowel? Read 2 find out!</p>
<p>(this story is also posted to wattpad and tumblr but wattpad sucks ass and  no one follows me on tumblr so im posting here)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chappy 1

Chap 1

i plopped down on mi bed of my new hosue. i stared at the ceiling, hating my life soooo much. i used to live in Michigan with both my parents but they got a divorce and my dad got the custody of me so i was forced to move with him to California. i hate it here.The warm days, beaches, sun, ice cream, amazing people, and cool shops were nothing compared to the freezing cold, grey days of Michigan. wy did i have to moev.

"Kellic! Get yo ass down here soon and walk to skool! It's starting soon!" i hate my dad. I got up and threw open mly closet, looking at mi options. I had 20 Anthem Made shirts and 20 pairs of skinny jeans. Tough decision. after a lot of thought, i settled on an Anthem Made shirt and skinny jeans. I put on a beanie and walked over to da mirror to check myself out. i stared at my reflection. I had blueish greenish brownish goldish redish purpleish orangish yellowish whiteish blackish eye color. No one really knows wat color eyes i have but they were so pretty, they made girls swoon. I also have long, luscious, curly black hair and beautiful naturally bronzed skin becuz i was half mexican. Ugh i was so ugly.

"KELLIC!" my dad screeched like a pterodactyl as he ran upstairs. he threw open my door and slapped me right in the face. "I SAID. GO TO SCHOOL. I DON'T WANT YOU IN THE HOSUE ANYMORE. LEAVE." i quickly ran out of the house and started walking to school.

On da walk there a truck drove by with the entire footbal team sitting on it.

"Fag!" They ywlled as they drove by. As they drove by I saw a really cute boy on it. He was super cute and I wish I could descrive him but the truck drove by so fast I only had enough time to finish this thought before it passed. 2 bad he's a dick. When i finaly reached the school, I walked into the office.

"Hey miss." I said to the secretary lady. "My name is Kellic Quentes. I is new here and need my scheduel."

"Here it is" she says as she hands me my scheduel with a smile. A boy walked into office. He was pretty tall-around 6', had black hair and blue eyes. "hAY ETHAN!" The secretary lady called out to the boy.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Dis is Kellic. He's new here. You're a good kid. Why don't u show him around."

"Umm... Sure I guess. It's kind of creepily ironic that I show up at the exact moment Kellic needs a guide." Ethan said.

"Idc." The secretary lady said and went baack to typing away on her computer.

"Hi, i is Kellic." I say, extending my hand for him to shake.

"Yeah, I know. I'm Ethan." Ethan says back, shaking my hand. "Let me see your schedule." I hand him my scheduel and he scans him over.

"What the fuck man. We have every class together." He says. I shrug nonchalantly. No big deal. "How do you not care! This is really fucking creepy. I mean, there is hundreds of different class subjects in this school, and each subject has several teachers teaching it. How is it even possible that we have all the same classes together? Isn't that just a bit strange?" i shrugged again.

"who cares" i tell him. He gave me a strange look that said 'this is not normal why are you accepting this' but i shrugged him off. I like shrugging.

We walked into the first class slightly late but its K because its my first day.

"Ahh you must be Kellic" The teacher man said. "Why don't you introduce urself?" I faced the class and introduced myslef.

"Hi i is Kellic." I said shyley.

"Fag" i heard everyone in the class whisper. Ethan looked at the teacher.

"Aren't You going to yell at them for that!" He exclaimed.

"No thats not whut teachers do." The teacher man replied.

We sat down nd i day dreamed off because who needs to listen in class am i rite? my mind drifted to the cute boy i saw on the truck earlier. i kno i only saw him for like, .00005 seconds but it feels like love at first sight. I mean, Romeo and Juliet got married after kowing eachother for like 8 hours, and it worked out pretty well for them. I decided to tlk to Ethan about this.

"Hey Ethan."

"What do you want?" He replied.

"So i was walking to skool today and i saw a relaly cute boy whut should i do?" I asked with desperaation in my eyes.

"Why are you talking to me about this? I've known you for barely an hour." He answred.

"well isn't his how frineds werk? We meetand like, five minutes later, we are bff's."

"No... That's not exactly how friends work." He answered "But I'll help you out anyways. What's the problem." I smiled a big smile at him before continuing with my dreadful problem.

"Well I saw this really cute boy on te football team truck today. I think he had a blonde streak in his hair but idk cuz they drove by really fast. who is he?" Ethan thought for a minute.

"I think you're talking about Jalex Barakarth. He's not on the football team but he's friends with everyone on it. He's also the most popular guy in school. You shouldn't hang around him. He's a royal ass hat. Total homophobe so don't try hitting on him either." I frowned. i hate Jalex now.

"Thx bruh." I told Ethan.

"No problem." He replied and looked back at his desk. "Weird fucking kid." He muttered under his breathe.

A few classes later it wuz time for lunch class. I walked into the cafeteria and plopped down in an enpty table in the corner. Ethan wuz sitting at a table acrossed the room with all his friends. I was 2 afraid to sit by his friends because no me gusta people.i saw a shadow nd I looked up to see Jalex standing there with 2 other friends.

"Hay u. Listen up. My name is jalex and these 2 guys are my friends Zustin and Niam. We own this skool so stay outta our way." Jalex said as he picked up a slushie and dumpe it over my head. The hole lunch room laughed and they walked away. A very tall, blonde cheerleader (becuz they all look like tht) went up to Jalex and gave him a kiss. Ewwwey now i was all sticky.

"Come with me." Ethan said, cumming up beind me. I followed him into the bathroom. "Here's an extra shirt I just magically have with me. Put it on." He demanded, handing me a shirt. I put it on and washed my hair off as he continued to tlk. "Where the hell did he get that slushie anyways? Its almost as if it appeared out of thin air!" I shrugged. From all this shrugging i must be getting really muscular shoulders.

The rest of my classes were really boring. I got up to go to my last class of the day witch was music. I walked in nd sat down in the bakc. a few minutes after the bell rang, the door bursted open and you'll never fucking guess who waked in.

 


	2. Chappy 2

“ur l8” the teacher said. Jalex ignored him and sat down in the only seat left which was next to me. What r the chances. He smirked at me so i just ignored him.  
"2day we will be starting a new project. U nee to create a song and play an instrument." The teacher continued. Ethan raised his hand.  
"Not every student here knows how to play an instrument. It's not a fair assignment." Big E said.   
"I dnt give a dam." Teacher man replied. He read off the names of parnerz. "And last but not least, Kellic and Jalex will be partners." Uggg great *note da sarcasm*. Ethan gave me a look that said 'dude this is so coincidental it's scary'. "Get working on your projects!" Teacher man said.   
"Cum on. Lets get this over with." Jalex said.   
"Fine. Wut instruments can u play?" I asked him.   
"I can play guitar and sing a bit." He replied  
"I can sing, play a but of guitar and piano."   
"Looks like ur singing. U shud write the lyrics too. Writing lyrics iz too much work for me to do."  
"Fine." I agreed. i rite lyrics in my sleep.   
"ill drive you to my house after skool so we can wurk on it." I was kinda scared. I mean just 2day he dumped a slishie on my head. Butt fuck it. I shall go anyways.   
After te bell rang we fled outta the classroom. I found Jalex leaning against the locker.   
"Lets go. And fast. I dont want ppl to know i have to even talk to you." I nodded my head because I cant stand up for myself for shit. I hopped into his car and we started driving. He flicked on the radio and Blink 182 came on. I now just realized he wuz wearin a Blink 182 shirt too.   
"You must really like blink" i told him  
"Yeah theyre my fave band" he replied, acting a little less cold to me. Te rest of the drive was pretty awk but we finally pulled into his driveway. I followed him into the house and up the stairs and into a room. The room was covered in blink182 posters and there was blink 182 shirts laying all over te floor and there was blink 182 cd's stacke up against the wall and a shrine to Tom Dicklonge in the corner with a life sized poster of him included. As you can tell his room was really boring. he picked up his guitar in the corner.   
"I have a song i wanna use." I tell him. "It took me a while to write and i thnk it will be perfect for the class."  
"Sing it. I'll try to play along." He told me. I cleared me thoat nervousously. These lyrics are very close to my <3 and meant a lot to me so i didnt want him to make fun of me att all. I started singing.  
“I want to fuck a dog in the ass  
he wants to fuck a dog in the ass  
I wanna fuck a dog  
That's right kids.”  
jalex started playing along. It actuly sounded muy bueno.   
“I tried to fuck your mom in the ass  
Tried to fuck your dad in the ass  
could only find the dog....and his ass  
we wanna fuck a dog in the ass  
we wanna fuck a dog in the ass  
we wanna fuck a dog  
I tried to fuck a fucking pirate in the ass  
Aarrh me and me first mate asurvy cur  
Tried to fuck a fucking pirate  
but I've found the dog  
Ah that was no pirate man that was thine own sister  
It's a Mexican pirate  
We want to fuck a dog in the ass  
We want to fuck a dog in the ass  
wanna fuck a fucking dog  
fuck you.”  
After i finished, i turned to him waiting for a response. He staired at me for a bit.  
"Those lyrics.... They were vry touching. How did u ever cum up with them?" I shrugged. Before i could anser, the door bursted open. In walked his friends Zustin and Niam.   
"What is this fag doin here?" Zustin asked.   
"i SWEAR IDEK MAYBE HES A PEDO HE WAS JUST IN MY ROOM WHEN I GOT HERE." Jalex siad defensivly. Zustin and Niam walked over and started punching and beatin me.   
"STAHP!" I yelled. They ddnt stop. Mayb they will stop if i use my manners. "PLZ STAHP" i tryed again. I saw Jalex walk over and kik me too. I managed to get up and run out of the house crying. I ran down the block because we just somehow happened 2 live by eachother and into my house.   
"KELLIC!" Mi dad yelled. Oh no i 4got to tell him i would b gone. My dad came crashing down the hall. When he saw me he froz. After stairing for a minuete, he started laffing. "I WUZ GONNA HIT YA BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT." He choked out invetween laughs. After his laughter died down he told me "now go up to ur room. Im sick of seeing ir pathetic face." I trampled upstares and layed down in my bed. I stared longingly at my drawr where I knew I had a razor hidden. But alas, I must not. I promised myself 2 never do it again. I was so exausted, i feel asleep immedietly.


	3. Chappy 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even sorry for this

I REALLY did not want 2 go to skool today. Not that i ver wanted to go but today i REALLY didn't want to go. I got up and threw on my my usual outfet including a beanie and ran outta the house before my dad could yell at me. I also ran to skool as fast as i could to advoid another drive-by meeting with Jalex and his frands. Bi all this running, im gonna be a track star at the end of the week.   
When I got to skool I sat down in my first class next to Ethan b4 the bell rang.  
"Hay big E."   
"Don't call me that." he siad, not looking up from his paper.  
"Little E?" I asked.   
"That's even wor-" he started but as soon as he looked up at me, he cutted himself off.   
"Dude. What happened to your face?" He Questioned. I must've had a few brooses and scratches.  
"Jalex and his friends Vaginasaurus 1 and Vaginasaurus 2 beat me up." I told him. He gavev me a look of sympathy and siad  
"How about you sit with me and my friends at lunch today. That way there's a less of chance of you getting beat up again."   
"OKIEE" I answred cheerfully.   
"Don't you get yelled at for wearing a beanie? It IS against school rules to wear a hat. You know that, right?"   
"IDK man stop asking stupid questions. of course i don't get yelled at. its not like schools stick to their rules." He was about to agrue back but cut himself off.  
"I guess. I mean, have you seen what Jalex is wearing today? It's a shirt with the word 'Boner' on the front." I was getting annoyed with him now. Did he not know that dont matter. b4 i could answer the bell rang and class started.   
During lunch I walked into the lunchroom class. I saw peeple turn their heads and glare at me.  
"fags" the muttereded. I kept my head down nd walked to Ethans table.  
"Hey Kellic! These are my friends. Frerard, Larry, Cashby, Fransykes, Phan, Troyler, Peterick, and Ryden." I looked at his friends. Dey all looked gay. "Yes, all my friends are gay. Everyone else in school is homophobic though because that's EXACTLY what happens in real life." As if to prove his point, someone walked by and shouted  
"Fags!" At us.   
"Is dat the only word u can say?" I asked the kid who walke by.  
"Fags." He said in reply. out of the wee little corner of my eye i see Jalex walk over.  
"Hy guys in Jalex." He says "Kellic. Come with me." He grabbed my arm an pulled me away. But since nobody can stand up for themselves for shit at this skool, i went with him and nobou stopped him. "Listen, im rly sorry. I hope you can forgive me." He aplologized.  
"Okay!" I happily forgave him.  
"Do u wanna ditch the rest of the day?" He asked "we can hang out and werk on our muzik project."  
"That sounds perfectly logical" i siad. "Lets go!" We walked out of teh skool to his car.  
"Wont we get in touble fer ditching?" I asked  
"Of coarse not. Our skool isnt like regular skools. There r no punishments for anything." I got in the car and hit the radio. I heard a familiat piano tune being played  
"When I was  
A young boy  
My father  
Took me into the citayy  
To see a marching band."  
"Thats sooooo offensive." I say "It's not a marching band. It's a marching idea" he noddeded in agreement  
We pulled into his driveway and ran up to his room.  
"Hay u wanna play video games?"   
"Sure. Because it seems to be the only thig people do wen they hang out anyways." I answer.  
"Good." Jalex said "youre going down" he teased  
"Im yelling timber" Jalex put in the game and turned it on. It wuz a really hard game. What was it called? Oh yah, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. After he creamated me on that game, we practiced out muzic project for a while and played other songs for fun. I decided to ask Jalex to play me one o my fave somgs- Candy Land by BOTDF. He didnt know how to play any of the chords so decided to flush the toilet a bunch of times instead. it was better thanthe original. we told eachothe r funny jokes like  
"Y did the lights go out?..... Because the world exploded!" And went into fits ofgiggles.  
"Oh dam. I have 2 go home now." I told Jalex. I sware i saw sadness flash in his eyes but im pretty sure thats not possible.   
"Let me drive u home." He sai even tho i i live like, a block away.  
It took .00007 seconds b4 we pulled into my driveway. I spent tht time holding onto every precious second with Jalex.   
"I guess i shall see u tommoro." I told him.   
"Kk" he told me. I opened the car door to step out. before i could get outta the car, Jalex grabbed my hand and spun me aroud. B4 i knew it, his lips crashed into mine. It was only for a second tho.   
"Wha-?" I began to ask him  
"No homo" he said and drove away. Oh Jalex wat have u done. Doesnt he know that saying 'no homo' only works if you day it BEFORE u do something homo? It doesn't count if u say it after. What Jalex did was VERY homo


	4. Chappy 4

I walked into my hosue trying to advoid daddio. But sadly i failed.   
“KELLIC” he roared like a lion. I froze and looked at him. Of course he was drinking. Wat else wjould he be doing.   
“WHO WAS THAT WHO DROPPED U OFF?” He screamed like a teenage girl at a Justin Beeper concert. I thought for a minet. What was Jalex in relation to me? A friend? I don’t know. Maybe an aquaintence. Butt he did kiss me. I was so confuzed.   
“Just a guy from skool. I had to do a project with him.” Appararently that was wasn’t a good enough answer because he threw a lamp at me. I almost dodged it but it hit my arm instead. He grabbed me and drop kicked me up the stairs.  
“WOULD YOU STOP BEING SO GAY!?” He yelled like a goat.   
“WOULD YOU STOP YELLING SO MUCH.” I yelled at him. He looked furious and started charging up the stairs. I quickly ran into my room and lockd the door. He was pounding on my door for me to open up but I wouldn’t give in. I am a strong independent women and I don’t need no help. That is until I turned around and saw Jalex sitting on mi bed. Totes not creepy at all.   
“What r u doing here?” I asked him.   
“I had da wierd feeling when I left. TheN i could hear your dad from outside so I somehow managed to climbe through the window in skinny jeans.” Aww that was so sweat. As nice as he was being, my bod was really sore from what my dad did to me and I broke down into tears.   
“Shhh, shh it’s okay. Come here.” Jalex said and I rapped myself in his arms. We sat hugging for a while. After i calmed down i decided 2 bring up wat was stuck in my mind.  
“Jalex. What waz that kiss for.” I asked him  
“But i said no homo. Therefore i wasn’t being homo.”  
“butt you said no homo after u kissed me. Saying no homo only works if you say it b4.”   
“HOw do you know dat.” Jalex said “where are these rules?”   
“rite here.” I said as i hopped off the bed, pulling out my own copy of the book “Rules of the No-Homoing” “Flip to chapter page 761, paragraph 12.” Jalex flipped it open nd read it carefully.  
“Oh yeah. It does say thaat in here.” he said, throwing the book aside. He walked closer to me and gave me anwother peck on the lips.   
“U still didn’t say no homo.” i pointed out. Damn this guy was stoopid.   
“Well maybe I didn’t want 2 say it.” he said with a smerk. I suddenenly came aware of how close our faces were. They even got closer. and clowswer and closwer and closer and clsoer and closwer andcloswer and closwer and closer and closer and closwer and clower and closwer and closer and closer adn finally our lips connected. It was like a firewokr bomb went off in my head. The kiss was deepenened and our tunges struggled for dominance. Like literally. They must’ve been arm wrestling or sumthing. I let him be dominant and the kiss turned sweeter and more gentle. WE broke the kiss after a bit and laid down in mi bed. He kissed my 4head and we cuddled until I feel asleep.   
Da next morning I wake up to an empty bed. well fuck. I got up and threw on my usual outfit and ran to skool. i didn’t c Jalex at all and it was finaly lunch time.   
“Hey Kellic!” Ethan said, running up behind me. “We’re going out for lunch. Care to join us?” he asked.   
“Yes!” I cried. We walked 2 subway because it was close bi, ordered our food, and sat down. I loooked out the big window and thout i saw a familiar kind of dirty blonde hair, duck into a car. A wave of awfulness rushed over me nd I ran to the bathroom and threw up my sandwitch. I KNEW that hiar. Even tho i did only just see the back of his head, i KNEW that back of head. Awful memories washed over me like a waterfalll and tears peaked their way to surface. It just COULDN’T be him. OH dear lordy it CAN’T be him. If it is, I might DIE.


	5. Chappy 5

After the puke party I went home cuz i wasn’t feeling 2 well. Mi dad was asleep on da couch so i crept up the stairs and into my rooom. I huddled in the corner, re-evaluating my lyfe. That back of a head brought back terrible mmrs. The slef harm, the insecurites, and sumthing even worse. but that’s a secret. so shhh. I ended up falling asleep with poisoness thouts in my head.   
I woke up becuz someone was kissing my 4head. wat the fuck. I opned my eyes to see Jalex kneeling before me.   
“Wakey wakey.” He whispered. I :) at him.  
“Whut r u doing here?” I asked him.   
“I didn’t c you at school today so I climbed thru the window to see if you’re aliright.” He said. wow i wonder if he was spideyman.   
“yeah i just wasn’t feeling well.” i lied to him.   
“r u feeling better now?” he asked.   
“yeah.” i lied again.  
“good. becasue I’m taking yiou on a date tomorrow.” he said.  
“a date?” i asked him  
“yeah that’s what i said. A date.”   
“Ok” i agreed. all of a sudden Jalex’s’s phone went off. He checked it.  
“Sorry babe, i gotta go home. my parents r looking 4 me.” I ddin’t realize he had parents. Jalex gave me a quck kiss and leaped out the window like a gazelle before I could ask him where we were even going. i sighed and laid back down in my bed and feel asleep with butterflies as i thought about tomorrow, completely forgetting about the fact that I was so sad before.   
I woke up with my dad pounding on mi door.   
“KELLIC! YOU”RE GONNA BE LATE FOR SKOOL!” I got up and threw openmy closet. I quilckly pulled on my usual outfet and rand out of the house.   
I got to skool and into mi first class right as the first bell rangalang. I sat down in my seat smiling becuz i twas thinking of Jalex.   
“Dude, are you okay?” Ethan asked.  
“yeah. Y?” I asked back  
“Well it’s just that you were a second away from being late and now you’re grinning like a dope.” He answered my ask.   
“It’s juuuuust nothing.” I answered his answer to my ask. I was still grinning like a dope.   
“Why am I friends with you.” I hear him mutter.  
when lunch room time crept around the corner i sat down with Ethan an his frands. AS they chattered like chipmunks i scanned the lunch room until i found jalex. he was laffing at sumthing sumone suid. God Jalex was gorgeoius.  
“Did you just say that Jalex was gorgeous?” Ethan asked, snapping mi back 2 realitree.   
“Wat. no. why woud i. he’s a dick. i hate him. what an ass. he should change his name to pickle cock. he made mi life hell. such loser. much hate. wow.” i told him.  
“I’m pretty sure I clearly heard you call him gorgeous.” Ethan stated.   
“well… he does have bootyful chocolatly orbs.” I gave in  
“Did you just say orbs? As in eyes? Who even says that?” Ethan Q’d. Before I could answer i looke dup to see Jalex walking my way.  
“hey you.” He said pointing at me. “Cum with me.” I got up and followed him. 1ce we got away from the lunch class room, i asked him  
“Where r we going?”   
“on our date.” he answered. Wait we were in the middle of the skool day. OH well.  
“Where are we going for our date?” I asked again as we climbed into his car.  
“its una surprise” he said witha s mirk. I huffed  
“I hate surprises.” he smirked again. Wat’s with all the smirking. WE drove for like, 20 minutes before we pulled up to a woods. OMG WHAT IF HE IS GOING TO MURDER ME. cuz that’s a perfectly logical thing to think.   
“Calm down. I’m not gonna kill u.” Jalex chuckled. Wait did i say that outloud  
“Yes, yes you did.” he answered. Wow I was really having problems with keeping my thouts in my head today. he pulled out a picanick basket from his trunk.   
“cum on” he told me with an extended hand. I grabbed it and walked with him. We walked through a trale in the woods til we got to a clearing. We popped a squat on a blanket that magiclly appeared under our butts and opened a pickanick basket.   
“here ya go.” Jalex said as he handed me a sandwitch.   
“how did u know what kind i liekd?” i asked  
“ i was totes not stalking you.” seems legit. We sat and talked and ate our sandwitches and drank our kapri suns.  
After a few makeoot sessions, we decided 2 go back to skool. we arrived at the door.  
“R u sure u want to go back to skool? We can just skip the rest of the day.” jalex asked me  
“I cant. mi grades are going down thanks to you.” I replied givin him a playful nudge. I gave him a qucik kiss b4 going inside to our last class of the day-muzik. We walked in the rooom and sat down. The bell rangalang. The teacher man started teaching and then the door opened.   
¨Oh yes class, i forgot. We have a new student." In walked teh boy with dirty blond hair. the one i saw the other day. My mouth dropped. i looked sumthing like this  
:OOOOOOO  
X(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
:o   
XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP XP   
DD:  
Yup. mi lyfe is over.


	6. Chappy 6

¨Y don't u introduce urslef." Teacher man said  
¨ok.¨ he said. ¨Mi llamo is Cake. I am 18 years young"   
¨nice to meat you Cake." Teacher man said. ¨Go and sit down next to Kellic. He's the faggoty looking kid over there" he said as he pointed at me. Cake smirked. Btw Cake isn't actualy a cake. I would probably like him better if hewas actually cake because i h8 this fucker. if he was cake, he would probably taste like a paperclip. ew. he looked down at me w/ his brown eyes and licked his lip ring. I suddently felt sick to mi stomach. i shuffled nervously around in my chair as he sat.  
¨hay" he whispered. ¨im cake." he introduced himself. i gulped and turned away. i knewy who he was. ¨no need 2 bee shy." he whispered again. I scooted myslef farther to the edge of my chair ¨your shyness is a turn on"   
¨Whell your face is a turn off." i said back and scooted again. But there was no chair left and i fell on my ass right on the floor. Thewhole class turned and looked at me  
¨fag." they muttered in unison. I saw Jalex give me a funny look but i shrugged him off.   
The rest of the lesson was super uncomfterble and i justwantedtogetoutofthere. wen we could finaly go home, i jumped up and dashed out the room. I ran home like the little track star i am and locked myslef in my room. I was breathing heavyly as i slunk down wif my back to the door. i tryed to calm down. 2 do so, i plugged in my headfones and listened to the calming vocals of Mitch Lucker. i almost didn’t hear the doorbell ring. I ran down the stairs and opened tha door becuz that’s exactly what ur supposed to do when your’e trying to avoid some1. behind the big, wooden door, that was was light brown color, swirrled with mocha brown lines, the shiny brass handle with two little screws and the bit of rust on the left side, wuz Cake. I stared at Cake for a long time.  
“what the fuck” I said as I picked up the food. “Why did some1 bring me vanilla wen chocolate is clearly betr. I set the cake down on the kitchn table and turned around. Undernieth the door frame was Cake. Like the person cake. Not the chocoate cake i wanted.  
“Wat r u doing here?” i asked him  
“I just wanted to see my bae. Is that so bad?” he repied  
“I aint yo bae.” I told him “not no more.”   
“oh cum on Kellic. You dn’t have to be like that.” he told me. “You say that love is forever and forever is all that I need. Plz stay 5ever with me.”   
“But i dont love you, Like i did, yesterdaaaayyy.” I said back  
“y dont u love me?” he asked  
“It’s a love like war.” i repleyed. Cake took a step closer to me. I could almost feel his breathe on my face.Sudenly, someone slammed into me frm the side.  
“SHE’S MINE! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER IT’S NOT HER TIME!” Jalex yelled.   
“Im pretty sure I’m a boy.” i told him  
“shut up”  
“U will ragret this Kellic Quentes. You will be sry 4 not becummin my bf again!” HE ANGRILY SHOUTED AT ME. He spun around and stomped off.  
“WHAT WAS THAT! I COULDVE HANDELED THAT MYSELF.” altho i clearly couldn’t  
“you clearly couldn’t” Jalex said.   
“you didnt have to help me! It’s not lyke YOU are my bf! You r too worried about ur popularity status. Mayb I DID want to get back together with him!” Jalex was a bit mad now.  
“Kellic. We both knowy you didnt want 2 get back with him. Idk what he did 2 u but i’m guessing u dont want it repeating repeating repeating repeating repeating repeating repeating repeating over again.” he said and stormed off too. Gr8 now i pushed him away 2.   
I wnet to bed thinking abou t what Jalex said. Cake DID do sumthing bad to me that i nevr want to happen again. but Jalex didn’t have the testicals to ask me to be his bf. I need a man because apparently i cnt do anythign by myself. butt what Cake did to me is so bad, I could neveer get back together with him. He rapped me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to olivia for tellin me about cake and the 5sos fandom bc i know nothing


	7. Chappy 6.5

I woke up 2 a slap on the face.  
“Wakey wakey fuckhead.” my dad said. I lvoe his nicknames for me. I got up, threw on an anthem shirt and skinny jeans and a beanie and ran out the door.  
“I hope your day sucks” I could hear my dad call out. I love him. I walked into the skool doors and saw ppl staring at me. Was it becuz I realy ugly or realy good looking? I soon found out why i was getting all this attention as a piece of paper flew smack into mi face. I peeled it off my face and was about to peek at it when i felt Ethan cum up next to me.  
“Kellic!” he started but not soon enuff becuz i had already seen the pic on el papel. It wuz a picture of me. Nakey. The picture showed mi head on a smokin hot bod. I had abs and muscle mass. ik it is photoshopped, but dam did i look good. I also saw that i had a vry large peepee. OH NO. THIS IS A SIN. I WILL GO TO HELL FOR LOOKING AT IT. I AM SUCH A SINNER. HOW COUD I. i threw down the paper in discust.  
“Let’s get out of here.” Ethan said as he grabbed mi arm and drugged me out of the skool. I looked behind me at the crowd that had gathered. I saw Jalex. He looked at mi sympithetically and sadly butt of course he didn’t help. fuk him and his stupid rep. I also saw Cake standing in the corner, smerking. OF COURSE. WHO ELSE WUDDA DONE IT.  
Ethan dragged me 2 his car. i got inside and sat down. he drove a bit b4 taking us to a cofee shop. We got inside and found a table.  
“So I’m guessing it was photoshopped.” He told me  
“yah”  
“I could tell. There’s now way i hell you could have those abs.” He told me  
“yah”  
“Well it could’ve been worse. He actually made you look pretty good! Now everyone will think you have a giant dick. Is that such a bad thing?”  
“porn is 4 sinners. Now im 4 sure not going to heaven.” Ethan gave me a stange look. idk why it’s not like i do anything else tht could be considered a sin. we sat in silencio for a while before he spoke again.  
“Do you know who did it?”  
“yah”  
“What are you going to do about it?” He asked  
“The same thing i do 2 solve my problems.” i told him  
“In other words, absolutely nothing?”  
“yah” we sat in a bit more silence  
“Do you want to go back to school now? We could just skip if you wanted to. I understand.”  
“yew can go backk. plz just drop me off at mi house.” i told him. I saw the water come over  
“hello sirs how can i help you?” the water said, wanting to take are order.She glanced at me and winked.  
“I would just like a coffee please.” Ethan sayed. The water completely ignored him.  
“i dnt give a fuck about u.” she told Ethan “I was talking 2 the cute 1.” she winkled at me again  
“um… just a coffee please.” i tolded her.  
“That’ll b right up.” she said and trned away, shaking her buttox as she wlked to the kitchen.  
“Wow. I didn’t know that waiters actually hit on people in real life.” Ethan said, stairng at the door she just wnt threw.  
“wut do u mean? it happens all the time 2 me.” I told him.  
“I swear to god you live in some kind of story or something.” Ethan mummbled to himself. Whatevs. The water cums back and hands us our cofe. She bit her lip and looked at mi.  
“heres a napkn” she says in a low voyce, handing me a napkin. I looked at it and it had the numbers 867-5309 written on it. What did those mean. wuz it her birthday or her age or sumthing.  
“thx” i said.  
“how bout u call me sometime” she winked  
“how can i call u. I dont even have ur #” I replied. god she was dum.  
“Actually that’s not going to happen. He’s gay. Fuck off.” Ethan told her. She gave hm a look of discust and ran away. “Let’s go. I’ll drive you home.” We exited the door and got in his car. We got to mi casa and i saw an unexpectered car in the driveway. I ddnt even say anything to Ethan as i ran out of the car and into th hosue. #notanasshole. I burst threw the door and saw Jalex sitting in my kitchn.  
“WHAT TEH F*** ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” I screamed at him  
“Did u just censor urself?” He asked me  
“H*** YEAH I DID. I WANNA GET INTO HEAVEN U SINNER.” I whispered to him “WHERE THE F*** IS MI DAD??? IS HE HERE?”  
“No he’s not. I wanna talk 2 u.”  
“Y dont u tlk to ur girlfriend?” I told him, rmmbering the platinum blonde cheerleader he wuz dating. “Whuts her name?”  
“It’s Olivia. nd i broke up with dat whore.” he said  
“y did u do taht. It’s not like you wnt 2 b with me.” Jalex advoidedd my gaze and looked at his shoes in guilt.  
“2 B or not 2 B Jalex.” I whispered. to my surprise he answered  
“2 B.”  
“Wait. wat.”  
“I want 2 B w/ you.” he said looking deeply into mi eyes. Any deeper and he wud have dug a hole to China.  
“are u asking me to be your boyfran?” I asked him  
“Yes, yes i am. Kellic Quentes, will you be my bae?”  
“YASS!” I squealed and hugged him. Are lips connected and we kissed for a bit.  
“but we still gots to keep this a secret.” Jalex told me. “i mean. my reputation is still more importnt than u r so we gotta stay quiet.”  
“kk” i said nd we kissed again. this is quiet possibly the best moment of my lyfe.


	8. Chappy 6.75

“Do u wanna..” i started  
“build a snowman?” Jalex cut me off.  
“there’s no snow u dumb fuk. why would we build a snowman?”  
“oh yeah. We can do watever snow does in summer.” he said  
“like… Watch a movie?” i asked.  
“sure! let’s watch Home Alone and Peter pan!” we sat dwn on the couch and started the movies. Aftr watching Home Alone 16 times and Peter Pan 8 (becuz apparently that’s the only 2 movies Jalex knows) we decided 2 say goodbyes b4 mi Dad gets home.  
“M gonna miss you.” i told him  
“but i’ll see u tommorw.” jalex told me, kissereing my 4head.   
“bye bye” jalex left and shut the goddam door. I layed down in mi bed and feel asleep, dreaming aobut my bewtiful boyfriend.   
I wok3 up feeling sick to my stomach. Oh no how am I sposed to go to skool todaym. I got up and decidee to get dressed. Maybe ill wear something different today. Instead of putting on skinny jeans, a beanie, and an anthem made top, I put on skinny jeans, a beanie, and an anthem made TANK top. Daring. I pooshed open my door and ran downstairs. I saw my dad in the kitchen. Thats werd. he normally doesnt get up until after 5 oclock in the noon.   
"I heard what happened to you a skool yesterday" he said. I froze. Oh no. Suddenly he starts laughing. That laughing turns into cackling. "YOURE SUCH A TOOL" He breathes inbetween cackles. He cnt stop himself so I wlked out the door. I wuz surprised to see Jalex's car parked in mi driveway. I ran up  
"What r you doing here!?" I said to him smiling. He gave me a kizz.  
"Nice 2 c u 2. Now hop in loser. Were going to hell" I got in the car nd we drove 2 skool.   
When we were 2 blocks away he stopped the car and sayd "U gotta get out here. I still cnt be seen with a fag like you. My reputation is still more important"  
"Ok Jalex!" I happily obliged and got out. "See u at muzic."   
"Or earlier" he winked and drove off.wat. I walked the 2 blocks and walked thru the skool doors. Every1 stared at me. I wuickly walked through snd sat down for class. Ethan sat down next to me.  
"How are you doing?" He asked.   
"Purdy good. Supah #$w@gg¥."  
"So you're not upset over what happened yesterday?"   
"What happened yusterday?" I asked  
"But...you...and pictures..just..nevermind." he gave up. Wow I wonder what he was going to say. "So what got you so happy?"   
"I have a new bbbfff!" I told hum happy  
"Wow so he finally tossed his ego and reputation aside to be with you then?"  
"noPE" I said popping the pee.   
"What do you mean?"  
"Us dating is a secret so shhh. He dont want ppl to know"  
"Doesn't that bother you? Him choosing his reputation over you?" He asked  
"Wtf r u tlking abiut. Y wud that bother me." I asked gettin annoyed. Ethan shook his head and turned away. A couple meenuts later Jalex walked into the room.   
"The princible wants to see Kellic right now" the princible wants to see me? WHAT DID I DO OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.   
"Our teacher's never gonna buy it." Ethan whispered. Buy wat? A face lift?  
"Oh ok." Teacher lady's said. "Now get outta my fucking class" I walked out the door after Jalex. We wlked down the hall in silence. Sudnely he yanked open the janitors closet and pulled me in. He slammed the door snd pushed me against it. wow that was supper ironic how there was magically an empty, unlocked clozet for us to go into. HE started to ruffly kiss me. After gaining my composure becuz i guess i lost it somewhere along the line, i kizzed him back.   
“Wait! The princible needs 2 see me!” I told him  
“ahahahahahah.” he chuckled. “I made that up.I’m glad the tacher bought that excuse. I just wanted 2 get you alone.”  
“y”  
“Becuz i missed you.” he grinned as he spoke. I heard a door handle turn and brite light flooded in the closet. Shit.  
Jalex’s POV  
Shit.  
Kellic’s POV  
We Dashed out of the closet b4 the janitor could see us. Who would have evr guessed some1 would actualy have to use a janitor’s closet and they’re not just 4 high schoolers to make out in. huh. We giggled as we grabbed handz and ran down the hall. lolz. The bell rang and we had to leave eachothers sides. I almost cry.   
My classes were super boring for the rest of da day. All i cud think about was my supah sexy boyfriend. All these stupid classes wanted me 2 do is solve the answer to Life, the universe, and everything. (A/N it’s 42) How useless. wen am i ever going to use the answer to life in my real life. I didn’t even se e him at lunch. I kept craining my head to try and get a glimpse of his skunk hair.  
“What the fuck are you doing now?” Ethan asked me. He looked so done with my shit  
“nothing” i said as i was clearly doing something.  
“You’re trying to look for Jalex, aren’t you?”  
“whatchu talking bout?”   
“Don’t talk like that. You are a 5’8 gay white teenager from Michigan.”   
“Whatevs bruh.” i said still looking aroun  
“Stop looking for him too. You look like an overly attached girlfriend.” I sighed and sat down. Bi the time muzik cam around, I was so excited to see my new gorgeous bf. This is the best week of my lyfe. Nothing can ruin it.


	9. Chappy 7

I walkee into my favorite and least favorite class of the day-muzik. I sat down far far away from jalex. Cnt have any1 get suspicioius. Becuz just sitting nxt to him would be a dead givaway. Even if I look at him ppl will know that we r datjng. Gotta be careful. Cake walks in and sits down next to me. Ew. I turned away as he sat :)ing. Wat a creep.   
"So kellic" he said "how did u like my little present?"  
"U mean your dick?" I responded  
"What!? No! Those pix I put up around the skool"   
"Oh I loved those. Thx 4 making me look hawt." I said. Show no weakness. Cake grumbled at me. He wasnt plzed. The bell rang and I stood up to gtfo.   
"So ur still not gonna be my bae." Cake said. I have 2 b strong. I gathered up all my courage. I took in a deep breathe and looked him gay in the eye.   
"Nah"   
"U will ragret this Kellic. You WILL become my bf. If its the last thing u do." I gulped like a fish. "Dis is ur last chance. Kellic, will you plz give me a Kellkiss?" B4 I cud answer, jalex grabbed my hand and pulled me out the goddam door.   
We got into his car and rolled down the stret. We pulled up 2 a park and he led me 2 the woods. I wasnt even scared he was gonna murder me. I wuz so proud. He turnee around and faced me  
"Whats ur deal with him?" He asked ne "I kno u guise dated but y r u so sacred of him?" I looked down gloomily. Ashamed.   
"Bad things happened. I dont want ta talk abou tit." He put a hand on mi shouldrr.  
"Bab3 u know you can tell me N E THING"   
I took in a deep breathe and advoided my gaze.  
"Hhebrbfkdkejrnne" I mumbled  
"What was that?"   
"He...rapped me." I finally said. Tears string down my face. Jalex took in a shawrt gasp  
"Hey, hey, its ok. It wasn't ur falt." He said and held me tite. I balled my eyes out for at least 3,600 seconds before the waterworks slowed. “cum on” jalex said and grabbeded my hand. “Let’s get sum sleep. Itz getting l8 and we have skool 2morrow because apparently there is never a weekedn.” I sniffled and nodded mi head. We walked down 2 his car and got in.   
We drove to his house and walked thru his door. It’s not lyke his parents would notice us or anything that wud be ridiculous. “Did u wanna take a shower?” he asked. I nodded. I went into the bathroom and stripped like a chicken strip. I spent about 1892 horus trying to figure out how the hell the shower turns on. Wen i finally got it, I stepped in. Showering always helped clear mi mind. I scrub-a-dub-dubbed my body and grabbed sum shampoo off the counter. It smelled lyke Jalex. Jalex wuz so kind 2 me. Y does he even like me. I shampooed my perfect hair and wiped my perfect face with water. I am way to ugly for Jalex. Yet, he stayed wif me. He held me and told me all will b well. HE’s so perf. like literally dude. Fuck. I suddenly came to a real eyes ation.   
I am in love with Jalex Barakarth  
I shook the thout from mi head. I’ve had a long day and dnt need anythin else troubling me. I turned off the shower. and dried myslef off with a towel. NOt that that extra detail was needed. u probably would hav e guessed i would use a towel. i’ll stop rambling now. I found some clothes waiting on the bathroom flor. I put them on an exited the bathroom. Jalex was already sitting in bed. I climbed in nxt to him and snuggled into his syde.   
“goodnite Kellic.” he said  
“Goodnight.” I answered I love you i almost said. I fel asleep with my <3 warm and fuzzy. if only he felt the sam way.  
*********************************************************************************************  
Here's a question for ya. Who's your OTP? Mine's actually Frerard.


	10. Chappy 8

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed. sumthing was heavy on my waist. I slowly peeled my eyes open. NOt literally because that’s gross. I just opened htem. I sighed with releif when I saw I was in Jalex’s bed with Jalex’s arm over me with Jalex nxt to meh. Fwew thanks gods i wasn’t in some frat house or sumthing. My stomach gurgled. Looks like im hungry. I tried to stand up but I’m weak af and i cudnt get up becuz Jalex’s arm is 2 heavy.   
“psst. Jalex. wakey wakey” i whispered. He didnt evan stir. mayb i shofuld go get a blow horn or sumthing. I shook him a little bit  
“Jalex get your motherfucking ass up now. I’m hungry and need some fucking food in my goddam stomach.” i shouted. still nothing. sigh. I leaned over and placed a kis on both of his eyelids. His i’s finllally opened. “good morning” i said.   
“it’s too early” he mummbled and snuggle dback into me.   
“it’s time to get up. plus im rly hungry.”   
“Okay. but only 4 you.” he said and liftd his arm. I sat up ans stretched. I was wearing jalex’s shirt and as i stood up, it fel down to my knees. I didnt even stop to think bout the fact that why the fuck woud a shirt go down to mi knees. He’s only a teeny bit taler than me. But ii mean thats what happens in evry story so why bother think about how unrealistic that is amirite? we walked downstares and into the kitchen to cook up sum eggs. Jalex spun aaround and kissed me. Because who gives a shit about morning breath. We ate our eggs and got ready for skool.   
“Do u have some clothes i can borrow?” I asked him   
“yeh. Herfe u go.” he siad and threw me a blink 182 black shirt and skinny jeans.  
“thx.” is said evn tho i wanted to kick him. why the fuck would he not have an anthem made shirt for me. Selfish prick. I put on the clothes and for some reason this shirt didin’t go dow to my knees like the shirt i slept in did. We got in his car and left 4 skool. HE dropped me of a block away like normal, and drove on. As i walked the xtra block, i ran into Ethan.  
“Hey man.” he said  
“hay” i replied  
“Hay is for horses.”   
“fine then. hey. whut r u? a grammer nazi?”  
“Oh calm down.” he said “I was just joking with you.” o hyeah. i forgot people joke with other people. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaHAHahhaHHAhahaHahHahHAHHAHhHahahaHAHAHha. he so funny.   
“But seriously though. Does it ever bother you? I mean, you ARE Jalex’s boyfriend, but you’re not treated like it.” I actually thought about this question for once in my life.   
“I guess it is getting a little old.” I replyed.   
“You should tell him that. Stand up for yourself. Make sure he knows that it’s not okay for him to treat you like cow shit whenever he’s around his friends.”   
“yeah. yah. ok. im gona do that! thanks coach!” I dashed off  
“...coach?” Ethan said quietly said confuzidly. When i got in the skool, the bell had already rung and it was 2 late to give jalex a slice of my mind. mayb at lunch. I sat threw my first class preparing wat to ssay. Except i suck at preparing things and ended up daydreaming about dating mi favorite movie star instead. As i wuz walking to my next class, i hand grabed me and pulled me into the janititor closet. It wuz jalex. how he knew it wuz me, i have no idea.  
“hey.” he siad  
“Um. hi. what r u doing.” i asked  
“i missed u.” he told me. aww he was so cute. I completly 4got about my plan to tell him off. He went in for a kiss.  
“I LOVE YOU.” I blurted out. oh shit shit shitty shit shit shit. What if he dsnt feel the same way? wat will i do? Jalex looked takin aback. oh no. a minet or so went by.   
“Jalexx..?” I queried softly. Get it? Queried? Because that’s a way to say ‘asked a question’ and I’m gay. I’m so funny. hah. ok enough jokes.   
“I...love you too.” he said with a smile.  
“Are you serious!?” I asked overstaticenjoyed.   
“yes! im serioius! I’ve loved you for about 6 years now!”  
“but i’ve only known you for like, 2 weeks.”  
“oh..well... oh shut up.” he said and drew me in for a kiss. i actuly rememered to stop him  
“wait.” i told him. he ave me a strange look .   
“””You can’t keep doing this. yu can’t keep preteneding like i dont exisit. Im sick of being pushed around. Y cant we just tell ppl?"""" Jalex sighed and opeend his mouth 2 explain  
"U kno why" ok well maybe he didnt explain. I glared at him, silentlyly asking for more. "Becuz I dont need a bad rep."  
"Well I dnt get a damn about ur bad reputation." I told him. "Itz getting in our way" jalex looked ashamed. "Jaljal" I said amd took a deep breth "you have 2 choose. Me or ur reputaytion." Jalex’s eyes widened  
"U CANT make me choose." His i's started wattering. Omg hes not gon choose me is he. Oh no this is not going rite. "Im sorry." Jalex said. He wuz crying now. "I can't." My vison clouded with tear droppylets and I ran out of the clozit and strait into the bathroom. How cud he do this 2 me?


	11. Final Chappy

Once I managaggagagagagagaed to get myself lookimg presentable, I left the bathroom nd went 2 lumch. I ignored every1 and sat dkwn sadly. If its possible to sit down sadly. Frerard looked ovr @ me. He was a weird kid tht always wore eyeliner and a misfits shirt. Every day. Like who the fuvk wears the sam shirt ever day. Not me.   
"You ok?" He asked  
"Im not ok." I replied. "Im not ofuckingkay"  
"R they wearing u out?" He asks  
"Yeah. Trust me, im not ok." As if 2 make matter worse, I I dropped all mi books on tha floor.   
"DAMMIT" I yodeled. "Now tha pages r all torn and frayed."   
"Its k" Frerard toled me as he picked up my books. "Tell me aboit what's going on" I talked to him bout all mi problems. He wuz so comforting and kind. He understod. Aftr our 12 min of talking, he suddently disappeared. Oh. Ok then. Fuck u 2.  
The the rest of mi classes 4 the day. I didnt tlk to anyone butt it wasnt 2 hard becuz all they kept talking about was this stoopid party. Wen it was time for music, I wlked in the room with mi head down and took my usual chair. I cud feel Jalex's precense has he wlked in. I still didnt look up. I didnt want him to see the sadnes and despair in my i's. Next I felt some1 sot down next 2 me. It must be cake. And not the good kind.   
"Hey Kellic!" He said cheerfully. I still didnt look up. Look down. Look down. Don't look 'em in the eye.   
"Wud u like 2 come to mi party tonite? Its gonna be super fetch."   
"Im bussy 2night." I told him.   
"Cum on, kellic. Hav some fun. Loosen up. Have sum drinks. Let go." I thout about it. Mayb this is a good idea. I need a drink 2day. I need to 4get.   
"Ok" I agreed "ill go." Cake clapped his hans together.  
"tHERE wE go! Lets hav some fun, yeah?" Yah becuz theres no better idea than getting drunk with a rappist. Im sure noting can go wrkng. Out of the crorner of my eye, I saw jalex staring a meh. I quicky broke the gaze. the rest of the class was uneventful. All the teacher did was talking about why y was only sometimes a vowel.   
“That brings me to the conclusion that y is only sumtimes a vowel becuz the human race is stoopid and hates being wrong so wen they realized their rule of aeiou being the only vowels was wrong, they changed the fuvking rule so tht they wudnt be wrong.” the teach said. Ethan raised hsi hand.  
“But Sir… Isn’t this music class?” he asked  
“No this is music and vowel class.” teacherman replied  
“But now you’re doing the same thing. You’re changing the title of the class so you won’t be wrong.”  
“Shut the fuck up ethan.” the bell rang.  
Tht night I got ready 4 a party.   
"HAh u fag. Y r u going to a party. No 1 wants to be bi u." He harassed me as I wlked out the door. Oh how true tht was. But wait.. some1 does want me. Cake wants me! I practicly skipped to la fiesta.   
I showes up to the house becuz I somehow magicaly knew the address. People were making out in the front yard becauz thats what happens during all hischool parties. I wondered inside looking around for some1 i knew. After .02 minutes of searching, I found cake in the keetchen. I walked over. It was chocolate, my favorite flavor. I wuz about to take a slice when human Cake walks up.  
“Hey Kellic! Glad u cud make it!” he says slurily.   
“Cake! HOw DARe u get drunk without meh.” i playfuly scolded. No harm in joking around with ur rappist, rite?  
“fine there sassy potassy. Hav a drink.” he said and through me b**r (A/N: I had to censor the word b**r becuz alcohol is 4 sinners and i dnt want to go 2 hell)  
I quickly cracked it open and took a swig. HeHE now i sound like a pirate. After 2 sips, i wuz drunk off my ass. we were both a giggling mess.  
“llets dance!” Cake yelled and grabbed mi hand and drag me on teh dance floor. we had so much fun being gofy and trippinf ovr our own feet. I was completely booty poppin when i look over and see the face of the person i last wanted 2 see. Jalex. He gave me sad sad saddy sad sad eyes. sad is a rly fun word to type.   
“mak him jealous” cake whispered in mi ear. Jalex didnt wnt me. but cake did. I reached ovr and pulled his lips onto mine. we were both sweat but i didn’t care. I looked out the corner of mi eye to see Jalex wlk away with a hurt expression on his face. good. leave bitch. Once I saw Jalex wuz gone, i disconected my face from Cake’s. it felt weerd kissing him. cake forced his lips on mine and ipooshed him off.  
“Stop. he’s gone now.”   
“Good.” cake repyed. “now i have u all to myslef.” suddenly i felt my body grow tireed and slow. mi vision was clowding up. wat wass goin on? did he drug me? I felt him drag my limp body upstairs. Nonononoon this cnt be happening. I tried to yell but it only came out as a whisper  
“shut te fuck up” cake kicked me. he pulled me in to a dark orom and threw me down on the bed. This is NOt good. i don’t want to go through this again. i cant. i can.t i ca.nt. I dont want cake’s batter. He started kissing mi neck. I wanted to throw up. Someon ehelp me please. He removed my shirt. I can’t move my body. Both from fear and the drugs he gave me. he started fumbling with my pants zipper. Hopefully they’re so tight he wont be able get them off.   
“help… me..” I gave one final attempt of calling for hlep. I was barely above a whisper.  
“tisk tisk.” Cake siad. “No one’s going to come. You’re all mine now.” Suddently, the door angrily swung open. IN walked an angyr Jalex with a baseblal bat. Where he got tht, i hav no clue.   
“shit” cake said and jumped off me.  
“GET AWAY FROM HIM.” Jalex rawrd and swung the bat. It collided with cake’s side. Cake fell over. Jalex dropped the bat and started punching him.   
“sToP!” Cake yelled.”I”M drUnk I donT know What I’m dDoing! i cnT contrRol Myslef!”   
“DRINKING DOES NOT TURN PEOPLE INTO RAPISTS.” Jalex yelled inbetwwen punches. u go Jaljal.  
“He was drnk! its not mi fault!”   
“BEING DRUNK DOES NOT MAKE RAPE OKAY. IT’S NEVER OKAY.” with one final blow, Cake ws knocked out. There was literall steam coming out of Jalex’s ears. Once his eyes landed on me, he instantly cooled down. He ran ovr and pulled me into a hug.  
“hey, it’s okay. I’m here now.” he said softly as i cried into his shoulder. There was people inthe hall that had gathered from the commotion.   
“I got it.” Ethan told Jalex as he dialed 911 on teh phone and spoke to the operater.  
“You’re safe. You’re here with me now.” I cud tell he was trying to be strong but a tear sliped down his face. I hugged him titer.   
The time blurred bye as the police showed up, arrested cake, and questionedeed both me and Jalex. it was a few Weeks later, and I still had nightmares of tht night, but each time i woke up screaming, Jalex was there to comfort me. the day atre the party, rumors were going around about me and Jalex. at first, he didn’t accept them, but he idn’t deny them either. A couple days later, he offically anounced 2 the skool that we were together and that he was in l<3ve with me. becuz jalex is popular, hardly anyone really made fun of us. i guess popularity is everything. Things were looking up. I think everything is going to be o.k.


	12. Epiloog

Years have passed adn i sat in my living room, watching boxen be unload from the mooving truck and into the house. Wati i take that back. OUR living room. I held our baby close to mi chest as i watched our new house slowly beeing filled up with our belongings. Let me rewind a bit. Teh year aftr hi skool, Jalex and i started a band with our frans and called it AllpierceTimetheLowveil. Catchy name I know. it rly took off and we got more famouser by the day. Soonly after, Jalex proposed to me. It was super romantick. He did it onstage infront of our entier audience. HE got down on one knee, took out the ring, and sang to me these words   
“They say dat love is 5ever  
And 5ever is all that i need  
plz stay as long as u kneed  
Can’t promise that things wnt be broken  
but i sweat that I’ll nvr leave  
plz stay 5 ever with meh”  
Idk how he thout that up but I said yes.  
I whale never forget the day of our wedding. I will nvr 5get wlking down the isle. My dad wasn’t there to walk me down tho. I stabbed him to death 2 days earlier. Jalex looked so perfect. He wuz wearing a white tux with a teal vest underneith. Sexy. I couldn’t help but wlk with a huge smile on my face. My white ballroom gown wedding dress was flowing in the wind. It wuz the happyist day of mi life. But leedle did i know that anothe rhappy day was upon us.  
At first i started feling sick. Like ewy puky sick. then i took a pregnancy test becuz that’s the first thing you do when you throw up. Teh test came up positive. The pregnancy was looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong but it twas all worth it when I got to hold our very own bb for the first time.   
“Let’s call him…  
Valex.”  
We thn decided to mlve out of our apartemento and into a house wear we can raise Valex. Nd tht brings us to 2day. Mooving day. I heard movement adn looked up 2 see Ethan sit down on the couch next 2 me. We are still friends.   
“Hello Valex!” He crooned. he adored valex. “It really is amazing.” He siad  
“wat’s amazing?” I asked  
“That you were able to create this baby! I mean, how is that even possible!? Do you ever stop to think about that?”   
“Not rly no”   
“But it makes absolutely no sense. First of all, how the fuck did you get pregnant. Do you have ovaries up your ass? Is that possible? Then where do you shit from? Then why don’t you get periods? How are you able to feed him if you don’t have boobs? Do you ever think about that?” He ranted. I shook my head. “I pray to god this baby turns out nothing like you.” Ethan whispered under his breathe. I looked around the room, realising we wuz about to start a new chapter in our lifes. I am rly looking 4wards to it too. New mmrs, new laughs, new… everything. Jalex walked into the room and sat down nxt to me. I snuggled mi head into his chest. He kissed my 4head. We sat and watched tehsunset dip beneath that horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually really sad this story has ended! Now I know that anything I do from here on out, will never be as good as this masterpiece is. I would just like to thank EVERYONE who’s reading this. I’m so glad I was able to make use of my inability to write good stories. Maybe i'll write another crack!fic in the future???? Lemme know what you think!


	13. Kleeshay's used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a list of all the cliches that were used in the story. Don't feel bad if you use a lot of them in ur stories. Tbh i love cliche stories! Everyone does! They become cliche because thats what everyone likes to read. So hard feelings, right?

Abusive father  
Rape used as plot device  
Bullied at school  
Depression  
Kellin moves from Michigan to California  
Then he complains on how terrible it is  
One character is loser new kid  
Other character is popular kid  
Start off hating each other  
Get put as partners for a project  
“I’m so ugly” then describes how good looking they are  
orbs used in place as eyes (who actually says that)  
first date is a surprise location  
Always an empty janitors closet. why are they never locked  
Popular guy has hot cheerleader girlfriend  
ALL of their friends are gay  
Everyone else in the school is a homophobe  
The only word anyone else can possibly say is “Fag.”  
Wears beanies everyday  
Frerard only wears Misfit shirts  
Everyone can skip classes with little consequences  
Accidently saying things out loud that they are thinking  
Switch POV in the middle of the chapter  
Jack is obsessed with the movies home alone/peter pan  
Jack and Alex wear blink182 shirts every day  
Always go to each others houses to play video games  
No weekend  
Tshirt always goes down to knees  
Have to hide relationship from classmates  
Mpreg (ew ew ew ew ew)  
Have music classes  
Kellin wears Anthem Made shirts every day  
Wears Skinny jeans everyday  
Has a kid show main character around school. They always end up as friends  
Main character has EVERY CLASS the same as their friend  
Always a drinking party  
Tongues “struggle for dominance”  
Jack wears his Boner shirt  
Fireworks go off when they kiss  
Jacks hair is described as “Skunk hair”  
One person always climbs through the window and into the bedroom of the other person (because I guess screens don’t exist)  
Random Spanish words mixed into an English sentence  
Thinking they’re going to get murdered when one person brings them to the woods for a date (As stupid as it sounds, I see it way too often)  
Song lyric use in a conversation  
Waitress flirts with them  
Authors note in the middle of a paragraph (Can you not just wait ‘til the end of the chapter to tell us something?)  
Various body parts tasting like various foods  
Morning breath=No problem  
Popping the P  
I saw *insert emotion here* Flash through his eyes  
AAAAnd last but not least…  
Using song lyrics as the title of the story


End file.
